Replacing Weed With Drugs (Part II)

Weed is not a diversion, for me. It’s a medication. I never was a person who took rips from the bong. I left that to the boys of Cypress Hill. Because I wasn’t a stoner. I took little hits, from little joints, because I needed a little mind alteration….because I had a big amount of anxiety.

Because social anxiety can weigh one down. Two hits. That’s it. And the trailer’s gone. The weight has been lifted. That levity…those oppressive, ever-present shackles. Click! They’re off.

And that is why I loved weed. With that said, I’ve already discussed why it doesn’t work for me, now, in my life (click here to see why).

“What are you going to replace it with?” – I’ve started group therapy for social anxiety. I think that’s where my sweating starts. This was the question the therapist leading the group asked.

I paused. Thought. Alcohol?? I grinned. Thankfully, alcohol just doesn’t afford that relief I get from weed.

My mind drifted to two months prior. I was at the psychiatrist’s office because I needed Klonopin. Xanax too, although I almost never take that. Anxiety at work had beaten me down. “Well, just taking panic medication alone isn’t really ideal.” I was sitting there on the psychiatrist’s couch. “I know, I know. Write the damn prescription already.” That was all I was thinking.   I’m not taking full-blown anxiety medication for this. I’m just not. I refuse.” The stigma was speaking for me.

Two months has passed. Two weeks now without weed. Enough for an about-face, I guess.

Back at group therapy…”I’m gonna go back on medication for social anxiety,” I heard myself say.

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4 comments

  1. Totally know what you mean!! I have chronically smoked weed for 12 years– when I first started smoking in high school- I noticed the thoughts I would have about it– may have cased a little anxiety- as we wold go back to school after smoking– but truly when my anxiety strong I smoked more and more weed—- So recently– which is why i find your post interesting – and alcohol never ever intrigued me a it made me feel like crap– i just decided to give up weed and use nothing but meditation and yoga- the thing is weed was filling a “void” and the more i realized it was really me “avoiding” things i needed to pay attention to =- more so emotions— my body and mind has also grown from this– howveer i now practice bodytalk and intuitive healings that were what helped me actually overcome the root causes of my anxiety!!! If you are interested or wanted to consider natural treatments …. I can definitely relate and help you overcome your emotions and anxiety! (sorry for the long rant ) lol i just love when I see people experiencing the same thing

    1. Thanks for the feedback. Like you, weed is definitely a way for me to avoid other, less pleasant emotions. I have done yoga for years. It’s been a while since I’ve gone to an actual class, but I practice a routine for 10-20 minutes at the outset of each workout that I do. I agree it is very helpful.

      I also tried meditation, and actually began TM about 9 months ago. I don’t know that the TM way of meditating is more effective than others, but I absolutely believe there is a virtue to meditation and that it helps with anxiety. That said, yoga and meditation do not get me there. Anxiety persists. What’s been most effective is a combination of: yoga, meditation, medication and CBT. That is the path I am again going down now.

      Here’s another thing: WHEN YOU SMOKE WEED, IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO MEDITATE. Meditation stoned is equivalent to going to rehab drunk. It absolutely defeats the purpose. And that’s if you try to meditate stoned. But I’ve found that, when I’m smoking weed, I simply neglect the idea of meditating entirely. Yoga, on the other hand, can certainly be done high (I just think the psychological benefits are far less if you’re high).

      I’d be interested in hearing more about “bodytalk” and “intuitive healings.”

      1. Yaa I hear you! There are so many outlets and substances that people can use to fill voids! TM meditation is still mediation, you are not really going anywhere… and most of the time people dont actually get into a deep meditation… it may take years and years to have those out of body experiences in a deep meditation… however, even sitting down for a few minutes a day and working up to 10-20 – 30 minutes etc… has huge physiological benefits!!

        Ive done yoga high and meditation… its just a choice to sit down and do it i guess after I smoke haha i guess like anything else- most things like emails, computer work or cleaning the house is easy to say: ill smoke first… then clean the house!! haha… but You also do not want to practice your meditation or yoga— having other substances in the body… you just want the energy in and around you to be “clean” and “clear” so to speak…

        but yes!! Bodytalk and intuitive readings– will help get to the root cause of emotional points of creation in the subconscious to help us realize or gain perspective of where the anxiety originated… as we have infinite memories stored in the body and there can be multiple priorities or links in the organs, endocrines and body that all lead to causing anxiety. Most times it is because we ARENT doing things that we know we need to do, being honest with ourselves, procrastinating, choosing to stay in a toxic unhealthy relationship… which I noticed, my anxiety didnt cause my past relationship to fail… but my anxiety was telling me what I knew wasnt true to me… by staying in that relationship! SO most people blame failures, or other things on the anxiety- when really its being created from not tuning into ourselves… or staying at a job we hate. or something in our environment that isnt helping us… it is sooo interesting what comes up for all different people!!

        It amazes me everytime I do a treatment- And I know how much it has helped me!! Its super neat how the bodymind- KNOWS (that inner knowing/intuition) what needs to be healed 🙂

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