Any time I’ve told someone of my issue, they’ve wondered “how do you know you don’t just sweat a lot?” In other words, maybe this is strictly a physiological problem. A physiological problem would mean that I sweat all the time. But I don’t.
I don’t sweat when I sleep. I don’t sweat when I workout (I might, but it’s hard to tell because sweating is a NORMAL part of exercise). Most tellingly, I don’t sweat when I drink or smoke weed (when I’m drunk or high). In other words, when my MIND has been altered, at long last the symptom ceases. That is the ONLY time I feel I have control over this ailment.
If this condition was physiological, I’d sweat at all times more or less evenly. But I don’t. When I am stressed, I sweat more. Much more. When I have a social event or a performance my sweating ramps up. When I think about a stressful situation that I will be in, my sweating increases. This tells me one thing – my sweating comes from my thoughts.
But since this has become a major issue in my life, my thoughts also come from my sweating. Its sorta a chicken and the egg problem. But once I have drenched a shirt because I’m overexcited in the morning, or in anticipation of something stressful, I get in my head. I wonder what’s wrong with me? I wonder if this condition will ever stop? And my anxiety THEN shoots through the roof. And because my shirt is all wet, I can’t get away. The thoughts return in full force over and over because I physically feel the uncomfortable wetness under my arms throughout the whole day. It’s like Chinese water torture.
So anxiety causes my sweating. No, wait, sweating causes my anxiety. Sure, my trip abroad precipitated my sweating problem, but clearly the sweating originates in my thoughts, as discussed above…Truth be told, anxiety probably exacerbated my sweating and sweating then exacerbated my anxiety, which then exacerbated my sweating, which then exacerbated my anxiety – a vicious and horrible cycle.
But it doesn’t matter which precipitates the other because I have been unable to stop the sweating and I’ve been unable to stop the anxiety. They cause each other and snowball into a goddam avalanche. Regardless, I know one hundred percent that this is NOT exclusively a physiological problem, this is more then mere hyperhidrosis.